Spring Clutter and Cleaning on All Levels

Spring Clutter and Cleaning on All Levels

As we move from Spring Equinox, it is apparent that big changes are happening all around us.  We see the awakening of plants, bugs and animals from their winter slumber.  We notice neighbours and friends getting their homes and gardens in order – spring cleaning and renovations are a common sight.  There is an excitement in the air – people and projects moving forward, making changes to themselves and their world.  Out with the old and unnecessary and In with the new and useful.  There is something very freeing when we unburden ourselves from unnecessary items.  It gives us room to breathe, stretch and create. 

But spring cleaning is not just an external event! Clutter can be in the form of emotions, thoughts and reactions which no longer serve our highest good. When we free ourselves from long-time hurt and pain, we allow space for healing and forgiveness to take place.  When we free ourselves from guilt and shame, we allow space for self-respect and self-love to grow.  When we free ourselves from anger and blame, we allow space for peace and understanding to bloom.  De-cluttering our mind and heart helps set many wonderful things into motion.

Clutter does not help us feel free to be ourselves and to realize our highest aspects. We become burdened with the history of our pain as it takes alot of our energy, time and attention away from more helpful, healthful ways of being in the present.  The past cannot be changed, yet our reactions to the past can.  Our reactions and attitudes are under our control.  We can choose to hang on to that which no longer serves to bring joy into our lives and continue in our pain. Or we can decide to make internal changes that move towards experiencing our personal happiness and fulfilling our purpose.

As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”  So it is with our internal spring cleaning.  We can’t deal with everything at once.  However, we can begin to take small steps towards freedom from internal clutter.  And as these steps begin to pick up momentum, we can tackle more clutter.  Eventually, the sense of personal freedom and happiness grows and outweighs the clutter.

What holds people back from releasing their clutter? 

  • Fear of the unknown:  we know how life is this way, we don’t know how it will be if we do this personal growth work.
  • Sense of undeserving:  if we release the old, it will be replaced with new;  do we feel worthy of receiving this gift?
  • Stuck in the drama:  we love to have something to complain about and to blame for our less than perfect life; if we gave this up, where would we get the excitement or buzz from?
  • Unawareness:  we have no idea that we are thinking, feeling or behaving in ways that are not healthy and helpful to us; we don’t know there could be a better life for us.
  • Fear of self-responsibility: the idea of being totally responsible for our lives is too daunting for many;  easier to have someone else run our lives and tell us what we are/can do/will think.

If you are interested in learning more about yourself and setting yourself on the road to personal freedom from internal clutter, there are many ways you can achieve this goal.  The first is to acknowledge that you are no longer willing to carry on with the burdens that block your freedom to a more happy/healthy way of being. Say “Yes” to “You”.  From there, your spring cleaning can begin!

The Family Care-Giver and Burn-out

The Family Care-Giver and Burn-out

Looking through my latest journal from the Canadian Nurses Association, I was struck by a couple of comments on those caring for a family member or friend.

“About 13 million Canadians are providing some type of care to a family member or friend, with age-related health issues being the most common reason this help is needed. …  It is estimated that family caregivers contribute more than $5 billion in unpaid labour annually to Canada’s health-care system.” (pg.20).

That’s a lot of time spent attending to the needs of others, never mind the other day-to-day responsibilities these people must also attend to. Trying to juggle all the responsibilities and activities in a day must leave many people feeling exhausted. It got me to wonder:  How can these care-givers prevent burn-out? What do they need?  How are they able to replenish themselves so they can continue to help others and maintain their own health?

Burn-out is often mentioned in stress-management literature. Essentially, it is the point of total exhaustion on all levels. The effects of long-term chronic stress may not be apparent at first, but eventually they come cascading down on the individual.  Even though most people realize on some level that they cannot keep up this pace over a long time without some type of fallout, they keep going. Many feel they are trapped and cannot take time to rest, reflect and recharge, as their free time is short and their list of responsibilities is long. Some are hooked into the situation because of guilt, dependency or because they worry about what other people would think if they did not help out.  But if you don’t take care of the care-giver, and the care-giver gets ill or worse, who will then take care of the ailing friend or family member?

From this standpoint, care for the care-giver is not a luxury or frill – it is a necessity!  If the care-giver is in trouble, then the whole situation is in trouble.  So what does it take to help a care-giver avoid burn-out?

Let’s back up the train a bit: perhaps the best time to learn and utilize loving self-care is before we find ourselves stretched beyond our limits.  Being proactive in our health and stress management goes a long way to maintaining good health, even during stressful times.  Knowing what we need and what works for us will come in handy throughout our lifetime.

Humans are said to be multi-dimensional in that we are Physical – Emotional – Intellectual – Social – Spiritual Beings. It stands to reason that our stresses can overwhelm us in any of these dimensions.  A healthy repertoire of coping and stress-management approaches is necessary if we want to head off the threat of burn-out.  Having a variety of healthy ways to handle stress offers us the most resiliency to bounce back.  What would these approaches be?

In no particular order, here are some suggestions:

  • get enough sleep to feel refreshed each day
  • eat a well-balanced diet and take supplements as required to help fuel our energy banks
  • do some form of regular exercise that offers a chance to help work off excessive frustration, worry or anger and replace with a sense of accomplishment and relief
  • create a strong supportive network of neighbours, family, and friends to call upon, to visit with and/or share your thoughts and feelings AND hugs
  • perform a meditative practice which helps connect to a Higher Power so that you feel guided, protected and loved each day
  • do something that makes you feel special
  • use natural aromas to help keep your mood upbeat and the home setting pleasant
  • take some time each day to do something that stimulates your curiosity (reading or exploring)
  • take some time each day to do something that stimulates your thinking (crossword puzzles, anyone?)
  • take some time each day to day-dream and do your hobbies  (fun and fantasy!)
  • get outside for fresh air at least once a day
  • if you need help, ask for it
  • if the situation is becoming too much to handle by yourself, contact community agencies that can help or that can put you in touch with the agencies that can help you
  • if you need professional counseling, get it
  • BE KIND TO YOURSELF – YOU ARE A WORK IN PROGRESS!

Add as many other approaches as you like – the wider the choice, the better your chances of keeping stress under control.

Learning to cope with stresses is an important step to maintaining a healthy and happy outlook and life.  And if, at some point, you take on a care-giver role, you’ll know how to deal with the stresses that come with the job. That’s because you are already doing it for yourself!

Did you know ……

  • 96% of Canadians think it is important (74.8%) or somewhat important (21.1%) to be able to age at home with access to health care in a home setting (CNA research October 2014)
  • 94% of Canadians want more financial aid from the federal government for family caregivers who are caring for aging relatives  (67% support;  26.8% somewhat support)
    (CNA research October 2014
    )
  • Labatt Brewing Company has created practical help for parents wanting strategies to help keep dialogue open with children and teens regarding the use of alcohol.  Go to LabattFamilyTalk.ca
    to download their free Parenting Guide, see videos and tips from experts in the field
Spiritual Practices in Today’s World

Spiritual Practices in Today’s World

Spiritual traditions and practices teach techniques to help seekers transform themselves and their lives.  As the darkest days of the year approach, they invite us to be still for a moment and “go within” to discover the answers we seek.  Spiritual practices are not necessarily religious, as spirituality can exist quite well without religious dogma.  Spiritual practices can be as simple as, “Breath in, Breath out,” or as complex as  certain rituals involving fire/smoke, meditations, or pilgrimage to sacred sites.  No matter what you choose to practice, there are a few basic guidelines to help promote your spiritual practices.

Firstly, before starting any spiritual practice, relax your body, clear your mind of excessive thoughts and worries and bring yourself to a state of quiet alertness.  If you try too hard, you will miss the whole point of the practice!   To help find this quiet alertness, make sure your environment is calm and quiet.  By reducing distractions, you make it easier to focus on the practice.  Practice grounding, breathing and focusing techniques.

Practice makes better, so be sure to allow yourself regular times each day to perform your spiritual techniques.  These techniques are designed to help us transform old ways of thinking and doing, into something more expansive.  If we don’t spend time learning and practicing these techniques, they will not be of much benefit to our evolution.

What we choose to practice should not become a chore.  We should look forward to the time we spend expanding our spirit. Whenever something become tedious or boring, it’s time to shake it up! If we continue with that which no longer interests us, we will likely stop the practice altogether. And that doesn’t help with our development.  So, add some zest with music, change of scenery, dancing, aromas, colours, clothes (on or off!), or change the practice to something else for awhile.

It is important to realize that expanded spiritual awareness can happen at any time, not just when you are engaged in your spiritual practice.  It can happen when we least expect it. So the trick is to be open to receive these insights and gifts at any time.  It might come as a beautiful sunset, the fragrance of a flower, the smile of a stranger, a powerful dream or the attention from a beloved pet. Just say, “Thank you, I accept“!

What would you consider a spiritual practice?
There are as many answers as there are seekers!
Some of the more common practices include:
prayer, meditation, mantras, creating sacred space, smudging, sweat lodge, reading sacred texts, using imagination/visualizations, Tai Chi, yoga, singing, fasting, vow of silence, selfless service, pilgrimages, retreats, hiking, swimming with dolphins, walking the beach, vision quest, dancing, dream diary, sacred herbs.

To come closer to the god/goddess within is to come closer to the magic and mystery of the universal Truth.  Spiritual practices help us connect with that Truth so we can use that knowledge in our lives.

As we come closer to the shortest day and longest night of the year, find meaningful ways to go within to find those answers you seek. Your world is waiting for you to blossom!

An afterthought:
An important point to remember is that the art of spiritual practice is to do what you feel needs to be done, without becoming too holy about it. 
 You are already perfect; spirituality is a process of discovering this fact!  If we all realized this truth, we would not need spiritual practices because we would already be enlightened.

Did you know ……

  • For shamans, power plants are gifts from the gods that let them enter the spirit world
  • Kahunas are the shamans of Hawaii; they help us take 100% responsibility for our lives and the actions around us
  • Mantra is a word or phrase used as an object of meditation; by repeating a mantra, practitioners distract themselves from intrusive thoughts and enter a state of meditative awareness.

 Article written by Pat Antoniak  Registered Nurse-Registered Aromatherapist and owner of the Natural Comfort Wellness Centre in Tsawwassen, BC.

Respiratory Health During Cold & Flu Season

Respiratory Health During Cold & Flu Season

Cold and Flu season is gaining momentum. Both conditions can be transmitted through airborne germs, which are then breathed into our nose, sinuses, mouth, throat and lungs.  It is necessary for the respiratory tract to remain intact, clean and moist in order to help fend off these germs.  The whole tract is lined with specialized skin called mucous membranes.  The respiratory passages must allow for the free flow of mucous, as this substance can trap germs and debris and help us expel these things before they get established in our bodies.  You may be more familiar with common terms used for mucous in the respiratory system: snot and phlegm. Laugh if you must, but do not dismiss their importance in maintaining our health! The upper respiratory tract is the first contact point with the outside air – the air is then sent down into the lower respiratory tract (bronchi and lungs). If the mucous membrane lining of the upper respiratory tract is not healthy, then our first line of defense against airborne germs is compromized.  If mucous does not flow freely, then it creates an environment for infections to take hold.  This can spell trouble for either the upper or lower respiratory tracts. Conditions such as sinusitis, laryngitis, bronchitis and pneumonia are just a few of the problems we open ourselves up to.  So how can we help keep our respiratory system healthy?

  1. Mucous membranes need moisture.

This moisture must occur both inside and outside the body. Increasing our fluid intake helps keep the tissues moist. Water, teas and juices are good choices. Increasing the humidity in the home and office helps keep the air we breathe moist.  As outdoor temperatures go down, so does the air’s ability to hold moisture. With forced air and electrical heaters now in full operation, the air we do breathe is dried out.  So anything we can do to add moisture to our environment is helpful.  Water humidifiers can be a great help, as can water fountains, aquariums and tropical plants.

If you have sinus or throat problems, using steam inhalations (even better with essential oils added!) several times a day can help keep the mucous from getting thick and sticky. A Neti Pot is helpful in clearing out excess mucous and debris from sinuses – it can also deliver moisture directly to the sinuses.  Gargling with aromatic waters, salt water or just lemon and water help keep the mouth and throat clean and moist.

  1. The respiratory system likes clean air.

With fewer pollutants in the air, the respiratory system doesn’t need to work so hard at cleaning up what you breathe in. This means it can be more efficient at stopping germs and other nasties from entering your body. Dust, pollens, animal dander, smoke, exhaust and strong fumes from industrial products are just a few of the things that really irritate the respiratory lining and make it difficult to breathe easily.  if the mucous lining becomes overly irritated, it will begin producing so much mucous in response to those things irritating it that the excess mucous now begins to block the actual breathing passages.  Ask anyone with allergies and they’ll tell you what it is like to be in the presence of their allergen!  Not pleasant at all.

Keep your air clean by ensuring the heating ducts in your house are dust/debris free; mop/vacuum/dust your floors and furniture often;  if you have pets that shed, brush them frequently so that the excess fur doesn’t end up on your linens/furniture/floors;  use an ionic air cleaner; diffuse/spray essential oils to kill germs in every room (especially important if someone ill is in the house), every day; open up windows/doors to let fresh air into the house, office, vehicle whenever possible;  stay clear of people who are coughing and spewing their germs!

  1. Mucous membranes need lubrication.

Lubrication helps tissues to stay moist which prevents tissue breakdown and keeps mucous flowing. Lips love cream, gloss or anything soothing to help prevent chapped or cracked sores.  The nostrils appreciate daily cream or nasal oil applications to keep the membranes from cracking.  The throat enjoys sprays and gargles that help ease strain and kill germs – aromatic waters and syrups are great for these approaches.

Some Essential OIls known to help support respiratory health include:  Eucalyptus, Myrtle, Clove, Frankincense, Cedarwood, Camphor, Rosemary, Sweet Basil, Tea Tree, Niaouli, Cajeput, Thyme, Oregano, Pine, Fir and Spruce.

If you attend to the needs of your respiratory system every day, you have a better chance of protecting yourself from the airborne germs that fly your way.  Of course, you’ll need to keep your immune system primed, too – but that is a topic for another day!

An After-Thought:
While you are at it, why not offer your whole body a nourishing, moisturizing cream or oil?
  The skin needs lots of attention during our dry winter. It, too, offers protection from infection if it is healthy and intact. Like its relative, the mucous membranes, it yearns for moisture (plant hydrosol misters, anyone?), protection from the elements and non-irritating lubricating substances (natural, non-chemical products) used on it.

Article written by Pat Antoniak Registered Nurse- – Registered Aromatherapist and owner of the Natural Comfort Wellness Centre in Tsawwassen, BC.

 Did you know ……

  • Eucalyptus essential oil can break down excess mucous and help expel it from the respiratory system
  • Clove, Tea-Tree and Eucalyptus are members of the same botanical family:  Myrtaceae
  • Oregano, Thyme and Clove essential oils are strong antibacterial /antimicrobial oils due to their high phenol content – a little goes a long way!
Victimization, Helplessness and Caretaking

Victimization, Helplessness and Caretaking

Some people have a firmly ingrained belief that they are victims and their feelings of helplessness and misery are habitual.  Victimization has been likened to wearing a grey cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to create the feelings of victimization.  Victimization can be so habitual that we may feel victimized even when good things happen to us.
For example:
Got a new car?  Yes, but it doesn’t run as well as I expected …
You’ve got a nice family!  Yes, but there are problems.  And we’ve had such hard times…..
Your career is going well!  Yes, but there is a price to pay for that success.  Lots of paperwork and long working hours….

As Melody Beattie so beautifully states in her book, The Language of Letting Go,   “… If we set our mind to it, we have an incredible, almost awesome ability to find misery in any situation, even the most wonderful of circumstances.”

Who are these victims?  When we look at the literature on co-dependency, addictions and mood disorders,  it seems we can find many clients and their family members with victimization and helplessness issues.  These folks tend to have low self-esteem, difficulty expressing and dealing with feelings, problems setting healthy boundaries with others, an inability to really love and value one’s self, unable to provide themselves with healthy and helpful self-care, and  someone who often puts the welfare of others ahead of their own.  In many situations, this person would be called the Caretaker.  So, what is Caretaking?

In its basic form, Caretaking is the act of taking responsibility for other people while neglecting responsibility for ourselves.  When we feel instinctively responsible for the feelings, thoughts, choices, problems, comfort and destiny of others, we are caretakers.  We may believe, at an unconscious level, that others are responsible for our happiness, just as we are responsible for theirs.  Unfortunately, the real world doesn’t work like this.  And our real needs and expectations go unmet.

It’s wonderful to be a considerate, loving, nurturing person.  But caretaking is neglecting ourselves in this relationship to the point of feeling victimized.  Caretaking involves caring for others in ways that hamper them in learning to take responsibility for themselves. Put another way:  caretaking is a way of showing another person that you believe they are incapable of doing/feeling/thinking for themselves, so you must do it for them.  If they are not given an opportunity to practice self-responsibility, they do not learn the skill(s) needed to be self-reliant and self-sufficient. They have little self-confidence in their abilities because you have taken that learning opportunity away from them.  And the cycle of victimization and helplessness grows.

Caretaking doesn’t work.  It hurts other people;  it hurts us.  People get angry. They feel hurt, used and victimized.  So do we.

The kindest and most generous behaviour we can choose is taking responsibility for ourselves – for what we think, feel, want and need.  The most beneficial act we can perform is to be true to ourselves and let others take responsibility for themselves.  By allowing self-responsibility to replace helplessness and dependency, we help break the cycle of victimization felt by all parties.

Final thoughts from Melodie Beattie:
We can stand in our power. We do not have to allow ourselves to be victimized.  We do not have to let others victimize us.  We do not have to seek out misery in either the most miserable or the best situations.
We are free to stand in the glow of Self-Responsibility.

Set a boundary! Deal with the anger! Tell someone to stop that! Walk away from a relationship!  Ask for what you need!  Make choices and take responsibility for them! Explore options! Give yourself what you need! Stand up straight, head up and claim your power!  Claim responsibility for yourself!  And learn to enjoy what is good. “
Article written by Pat Antoniak Registered Nurse – Registered Aromatherapist
and owner of the Natural Comfort Wellness Centre in Tsawwassen, BC.