How Does Your Garden Grow?

How Does Your Garden Grow?

by | Life Reflections, Psycho-Spiritual

 With Spring in full swing, it is hard to ignore the capacity for resiliency and rebirth that our gardens show us.  Only a few weeks ago, there were twigs and bare patches of dirt looking up at a us. We have been anxious to see what, if anything, survived the winter.  Looking at our gardens, we’ve been hoping, wishing and praying for signs of renewal. Signs of revival. Signs that there is still hope in this world.

Our experience with the virus pandemic has brought the thoughts of life and death to our attention every day. Like the winter garden, we have been quiet. Like the stillness of that garden, we have waited and wondered if life will return. In that stillness, we have had lots of time to reflect upon thoughts, memories and emotions;  some have not always been easy to understand or to confront.  In this time of stillness, we have been left with ourselves. For some, this has been a positive time of self-exploration, self-care and learning.  For others, this quiet time has been a pit of despair filled with fear, loneliness and hopelessness.

Why the difference?  Why does one garden flourish while the other withers?

Look to the cycles of nature for the answer.  There is a time and a season for everything; nature understands this dance.  There needs to be stillness and quiet in order for us to hear the stirrings of our mind, body and soul.  From that place, we can dream.  We can create.  We can “sprout”.  We can grow. In effect, we are both the garden and the gardener of our life.  What we plant is up to us.  How we tend the garden, is up to us. When and how we use the harvest, is also up to us.  Nature uses its cycles wisely as it has faith in the process of life, death and rebirth. Nature trusts the dance, for it has been dancing for many years!

There are many things out of our control; this is certainly something that this covid experience has brought to light. Some people find not being in control unsettling as they have a particular idea and expectation of how the world should be and operate. Routine and predictability give them a sense of security.  Unfortunately for these folks, the universal law is one of Chaos!  No predictability, except that it is unpredictable.  In order to live with chaos, we must learn how to keep our inner core strong and resilient so we don’t forget who we are and what we are about while chaos swirls about us.  Like the eye of the tornado, we learn to stay calm, grounded and focused on what we can do, not what we can’t do. This is something we can control – it comes from within.

So, how does your garden grow?  Do you have faith, trust and enthusiasm to focus your intentions on the excitement of new growth, abundance and gratitude?  Do you have fear and mistrust to focus your energies on constriction, scarcity and blame?  It is always your choice as to the garden you create.  What you plant, feed and focus on will grow.  So the question is: what do you wish to harvest in your life?  Once you know the answer, you know how to proceed with your garden.  Happy Spring!  Happy Gardening!

DID YOU KNOW ...

Decided to end with a bit of humour this time. Funny, corny or groaners – whatever you call them –  may they bring a smile to your face today!  Thanks to Brenda for sharing these puns.

    • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
    • If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
    • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
    • Two silk worms had a race. They ended in a tie.
    • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
    • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    • I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
    • The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
    • Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says, “Dam”.
    • A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.  The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
    • A photon is checking into a hotel. The bellhop approaches and asks, “Sir, do you have any luggage?”  The photon responds, “No, I’m traveling light.”
The Gift of Trauma

The Gift of Trauma

by | Life Reflections, Psycho-Spiritual

The world is on a major reset due to a virus that nobody saw coming. How could we have prepared for something that came swiftly out of left field? Truth is: we couldn’t have. All around the world, people have had to make adjustments to their work, love and play.  Adjustments that have been required of us for the “collective good”. But for how long and at what other costs must we remain under these restraints?

The official term for what people are experiencing right now is “collective trauma”.  According to mental health experts Louise Bradley and Marika Sandrelli’s article in today’s Province newspaper,

 ” … collective trauma stems from the “fight, flight or freeze” response that asserts itself when a stressful event shatters our sense of security. … We may experience everything from feelings of helplessness, shock, denial or disbelief.  We may find ourselves easily confused, have difficulty focusing and have sleepless nights.  Some of us will be identifying with every possible negative outcome, while others may feel strangely detached.  Even more disconcerting may be the dissonance we experience when we catch ourselves feeling moments of joy.”…

When we experience a trauma, our world and our being are shaken to the core.  Security, belonging, trust and abilities to cope and survive are shattered.  Trauma makes us believe that we are powerless to do something about it.  By making us feel like victims, trauma gains its greatest victory.  But trauma is forgetting one thing:  humans have the capacity to do great things under great adversity.  It is under such challenges and adversities that our greatest personal growth and power can be realized.

The gift of trauma is the suffering it creates. Suffering takes us to the deep, dark places of our psyche and soul and asks us to be brutally honest about ourself, our life and our world. It asks us to define and explain what we really believe and what is important to us.  Then, it asks us, “What are we prepared to say and do in order to stand up for our truth? To stand up for our life?”  In essence, suffering helps us to define our personal truth, feel our personal power and live in alignment with ourselves and highest truth.  But this process is not quick and easy.  However, it is life changing

Another quote from the Bradley and Sandrelli article states,

“… But in today’s society, in our unyielding quest for happiness, we’ve lost sight of the value of being still with our suffering.  We may be more comfortable with the idea of trauma can have no value because a different possibility would require us to dig into the hard work of introspection.  Nothing worth doing is easy – something especially true for those able to reframe their negative experiences as avenues to greater self-awareness, heightened compassion and deeper relationships – yet those are exactly the kinds of insights that researchers have consistently correlated with post-traumatic growth.”

Other researchers have acknowledged that traumatic experiences do cause suffering, but suffering is only a part of a much bigger experience.  It can offer the opportunity to look deeply into one’s own being, relationships and life circumstances and create changes that are happier, healthier and more in alignment with one’s own personal truth and power.  As ever, it is always under your control as to how you wish to respond to trauma and suffering.  Your decision – your move – your way, always.

With the gift of time we’ve been given right now, and the usual distractions in life reduced, what an opportunity to dig deeply, go within, release that which holds you back and then create something more wonderful for yourself. And your world.

 

Did you know …

  • Lilacs and Jasmine belong to the same botanical family
  • Cinnamon is helpful with digestion, blood sugar regulation and dental health
  • Heart chakra colours are green and pink;  green for physical heart and balancing,  pink for emotional heart and love
Russian Gypsies

Russian Gypsies

by | Life Reflections

Hats off to Svetlana Alexandrovna Touchkoff for introducing the Western world to the Gypsy teachings of nineteenth century Russia  by creating her Russian Gypsy Fortune Telling Cards.  The gypsies were a freedom-loving nomadic group known for their ability to offer insights and predictions to any who asked.  Fortune telling was an integral part of people’s lives in Russia; it was an opportunity to concentrate on themselves, talk about their feelings and frustrations and come up with strategies for the future.  Readings were often done with others listening and offering their insights into what was being said. People believed their predictions, yet they were not controlled by them. They understood that at any moment, an individual’s free will or God’s intercession could turn any situation around.  This open understanding has continued to this day.

The cards contain artwork and symbols from many areas, as would be expected from gypsies who traveled around Europe, Russia, the Middle East and parts of Asia. There are many entries for each card explaining the history, mystery and practical aspects of the messages.

Here are some short examples of Russian sayings and proverbs contained in her cards.

The card:  Lady
Symbol for: support and help
Proverb:  Don’t spit in the well.  You might have to drink the water
Meaning: don’t do anything that could hurt or embarrass someone unnecessarily; you may need their help at some time

The card:  Cat
Symbol for:  hidden danger
Proverb: An uninvited guest is worse than a Tartar 
(the Tartars were Mongolian invaders of Russia during the Middle Ages)
Meaning: refrain from boorish acts that irritate others, otherwise expect to be criticized

The card:  Bread
Symbol for:  happiness, prosperity, generosity and nourishment
Proverb:  If everyone gives a thread, the naked one will have a shirt
Meaning: do your share of giving in some way

The card:  Dog
Symbol for:  relationships with friends
Proverb:  Better to have a hundred friends than a hundred rubles
Meaning:  you are not alone in this world when you have friends

The card:  Heart
Symbol for: love and emotions from the heart
Proverb:  First love is like first teeth;  it comes with pain
Meaning:  if this is your first love and the other doesn’t even know you exist, don’t despair. Try again.

The card:  Moon
Symbol for: peace, beauty and mystery
Proverb: What we have we don’t treasure; having lost it, we cry
Meaning:  don’t waste your time wishing for things you do not have;  rather, enjoy the peaceful happiness you have now

The card: Clover
Symbol for:  luck
Proverb: Without pain, there is no learning
Meaning: do not get too despondent over a situation; stay positive and a solution will be found

May the practical, freedom inspired messages from the Gypsy cards make you smile. And reflect for awhile.

The Hero’s Journey

The Hero’s Journey

by | Life Reflections, Psycho-Spiritual

There is a lot of talk about 2020 being the year to set a new vision for one’s self and stepping into the best life you can dream of. Change theorists will say that our normal state of being is chaos – from that, we can create our world and its reality.  This sounds crazy, over-the-top,  a  rose-coloured glass type of reality.  Yet if we resist change, we will stop growing, learning, exploring or risking to try something different; to be something different.  We will never get a different result from what we already have if we continue doing what we’ve always done, always thought and always felt.

Throughout history, many versions of the Hero’s Story abound.  And although the characters, locations and situations are different, the main themes remain universal.  Looking at the works of people like Joseph Campbell, C.S. Lewis, Carl Jung, George Lucas, Albert Broccoli, J.R.Tolkien and J.K. Rowling, we can easily see the archetypal story of the Hero unfold.  Joseph Campbell called it the monomyth – the story which is understood by everyone, everywhere, throughout history and eternity, at a primal/cellular level.

So what is the Hero’s Journey really about?  To answer this question, let’s look at Carol Pearson’s book,  Awakening the Heroes Within”

“We find a model for learning how to live in stories about heroism. The heroic quest is about saying Yes to yourself and, in so doing, becoming more fully alive and more effective in the world.  For the Hero’s Journey is first about taking a journey to find the treasure of your True Self and then about returning home to give your gift to help transform the kingdom – and, in the process, your own life.  The quest itself is replete with dangers and pitfalls, but it offers great rewards:  the capacity to be successful in the world, knowledge of the mysteries of the human soul, the opportunity to find and express your unique gifts in the world and to live in loving community with other people.”   (p.1)

“… The paradox of modern life is that at the same time that we are living in ways never done before and therefore daily recreating our world, our actions often feel rootless and empty.  To transcend this state, we need to feel rooted simultaneously in history and eternity.  This is why the myth of the hero is so important in the contemporary world.  It is a timeless myth that links us to peoples of all times and places.  It is about fearlessly leaping off the edge of the known to confront the unknown, and trusting that when the time comes, we will have what we need to face our dragons, discover our treasures, and return to transform the kingdom.  It is also about learning to be true to ourselves and live in responsible community with one another.”  (p.2)

When do we know when it is time to embark on our personal journey?  Usually, it starts with a sense that something is not quite right; things are not as we would want them to be; inner restlessness or distractions that won’t leave us alone. It may not make sense to anyone else but ourselves.

Stage One of the Journey is called the Preparation Stage.  It will challenge us to prove our competence, courage, our fidelity to high ideals.  Testing, trials, tribulations abound in an effort to make us prove our worthiness for this treasure.

Archetypes associated with this stage include the Innocent (teaches trust and optimism), the Orphan (teaches us to provide for ourselves and stop relying on others), the Warrior (teaches setting goals and strategies, develop courage and discipline) and the Career (teaches caring for others and ourselves).  These four basic archetypes teach us how to live in the world. They are necessary if we are to be successful in completing the Journey.

Stage Two of the Journey is simply called The Journey. Now, we leave the comfort and safety of all we’ve known and embark upon a quest where we encounter death, suffering and love. If we have prepared ourselves well, we will find a way through this journey. During this time, we become transformed.  In myths, this is usually symbolized by the finding of a great treasure or sacred object.

 Archetypes associated with this stage include the Seeker (searching for something that satisfies our yearning), the Destroyer (initiation through suffering, takes away what we thought was essential to ourl lives) the Lover (a new love for people, causes, places, work; forces a commitment from us to birth our true self) and the Creator (helps us express this new self in the world and start the return to our queen/kingdom).These four basic archetypes teach us the basic process of dying to the old self and giving birth to the new self. This process prepares us to return to our queen/kingdom and change our lives.

 Stage Three of the Journey is called The Return.  As the journey comes to an end, we come to realize that we are the rulers of our own Queen/Kingdom.  Upon return, we might be upset with the state of our world, but because of our new-found self-knowledge, skills and understandings we can transform our world into the world we believe in – the world we desire. We will create a world that is in keeping with our true self – the Self we brought back with us. We are free to be ourselves and offer our gifts to others.

 Archetypes associated with this stage include the Ruler (teaches how to take command over our Queen/Kingdom to create a beautiful world), the Magician (able to heal and transform ourselves and others so the queen/kingdom can be continually renewed), the Sage (teaches what the Truth really is; sets us free from attachment and petty desires) and the Fool (teaches us to live joyously in the moment without worrying about the future). These final attainments are the reward for our journey.

There is not only one journey taken in our lifetime.  Life is an ever-changing event that needs continual attention, destruction and renewal. “Out with the old, In with the new.”   As we evolve, we embark upon new Journeys in order to keep our world from becoming stagnant.  Each time we embark upon our personal Hero’s Journey, we bring more life experience, knowledge, skills and soul growth to the adventure.  This, in turn, assists us to bring back richer treasures to aid with our own health and healing as well as those whom we share our world.

 When you feel those stirrings in your heart, mind and soul, maybe it is your True Self trying to get your attention.  Are you listening?  After all, it is for your Highest Good.

 

Setting a New Course

Setting a New Course

by | Life Reflections, Psycho-Spiritual

With the New Year upon us, we have a chance to evaluate our past year and see where we’d like to make better choices and changes in our lives.  This is where Honesty comes in;  no time to be in denial. No time to point blame elsewhere.  And no time to minimize or rationalize anything negative that came our way.  It happened, we reacted, and the results weren’t what we wanted or expected. Now, if we want to see a different, more positive result, we need to take responsibility for our reaction and work at developing a new approach – a new response. Without a new approach, we won’t get a new result.  And we can expect more of the same over and over.

There is a difference between a reaction and a response.  Most of us react to people and situations that trigger a deep, powerful emotion within us. This emotion is generally rooted in things like abandonment, low self-esteem, fear, anger or rejection from an earlier time in life.  When we act from this position, we are actually showing others that we are feeling victimized from our own past and its accompanying emotions. We haven’t worked things out and let them go. They are still there, like emotional buttons waiting to be pushed. What we get back from the other person is often emotionally charged, too. This can set up a potentially dangerous situation – physically, mentally and/or emotionally. Reaction is like a quick reflex – a knee-jerk reaction.  Once it is done, we can’t take it back. Often times we wish we could so we could do it better!

A response is different.  When we respond to people or situations, we employ both our head and heart. We recognize our emotional state, but we think before we talk or take action.  Our thinking and feeling coordinate to create the response.  When we choose to respond, we show we are using a balanced approach to the situation or person. A response shows that we are in control of ourselves in the situation. We have no buttons to be pushed!  We are free from our past and the emotions attached to it.  We choose to respond to our past and present, so that our future can be better.

How do we switch from using reaction to response?  One of the keys is Surrender.  Odd as it may sound, surrendering to all that has happened in the past allows for it to leave us alone.  When we hold on to it, fight with “the demons of the past”, or continue to wish that the past had been better, we are giving our past the control over our current state of being and ability to balance our head and heart reactions into responses.  If there are no emotional buttons to push, we can think and feel more clearly. We can act more neutrally. We stay in the Now and respond in the Now.

The more often we use responses towards emotionally charged situations and people,  the better we start to feel about ourselves.  This, in turn, helps increase our sense of positive feelings for ourselves and our abilities.  And our confidence and trust in our ability to create our own way will start to increase. Action will follow thought!

See yourself in a whole new light.  Don’t expect others to like what they see, as they’ve been used to you being another way that suited their purposes.  But in time, and with your consistent responses, not reactions, to what others say or do to you, they will come to know that your strength, courage and belief in yourself are real. This is your new course – your new way of being.  This is how you begin to set a new course for what you truly want in your future.

You are in the driver’s seat – where do you want to go?