Our Needs and Self-actualization

Our Needs and Self-actualization

Human development is a process of needs being met or not met.  People satisfy the lower levels of basic physical needs like hunger, safety and belonging before they are able to pay attention to upper levels of needs.  The upper levels of needs are based upon inner spirituality, such as love of self and others and living your own truth.  Awareness of this inner spiritual world leads people to further their development towards their potential.  This is what Abraham Maslow called self-actualization.

We must take care of our physical, mental, emotional and social needs in the material world before we are ready to move to the spiritual needs.  Once we have mastered our material worldview, we can begin to develop our inner worldview. Some folks are comfortable in meeting only their material needs. To them, this is all there is to life. Some folks have everything they need on the material plane and yet, they are not quite settled or happy. They yearn for something “more”.  Toni Gilbert, a transpersonal therapist, calls this “the archetypal spiritual self.”  This is where self-exploration, self-realization and self-actualization reside.

Maslow’s initial work on human development described human needs in a progression from basic needs, to interpersonal needs through to inner personal needs.  In his view, to reach our full potential as a human being, we needed to look within to find our truth, strength, talents, motives and special purpose in this world. Only then could we experience all that life has to offer us. For some people, this sounds like too much work – inner, outer whatever work!  But for many, there comes a time when “more” isn’t about stuff.  It’s about life. It’s about spirit. It’s a time when we begin to examine ourselves in our entirety, and reclaim those pieces that have been lost or forgotten. They are part of our story.  They help us move into our true self and purpose.  We are coming home to our heart.

To quote Toni Gilbert from her book,  Messages From the Archetypes:

“People need to develop a higher love of self. This is not a selfish or vain love,
but a true knowing of your rightful place in the world. Sometime in your development
you come to realize that you are a divine being and you belong to a divine world and a divine universe.  As you love yourself, you love others. You cannot express true love unless you have it for yourself.  But you can’t just step over some threshold and become a self-actualized person.  Loving yourself is at the foundation;  it is the gate to the higher self.  And loving yourself
requires a lot of inner work.  People can give you tools to do this inner work, but the bottom line is:  you must do this inner work yourself.  You must go where you haven’t gone before, on a journey through your own inner consciousness, the inner worldview,
to gain your spiritual gifts of wisdom and insight. ((pp.114-118)

A self-actualizing person operates from a higher level of being, a higher mind and a more refined personality. Becoming self-actualized means that you discover your gifts and talents to use in the world and then become all you are capable of becoming.  Self-actualized people are spiritually in tune with something greater than themselves – God, Goddess, Higher Power, Universal Life Force or whatever is your belief.  To become all you are capable of becoming, you must build a relationship with your Higher Power during your inner work.  Being human means that we will drop into lower level behaviours at times. This is taken in stride as a life experience and lesson – and judgement is not required.  Learn the lesson, give thanks for the lesson, then carry on.  Experience and knowledge help create wisdom.

Toni Gilbert summarizes the characteristics of the Self-Actualizing Person as follows:

  • self-actualizing people are conscious of their inner worldview and become contributors to the greater good of humankind and the earth.  They feel a kinship to others and selflessly give of themselves
  • they have a mission in life and see life as meaningful.  They are creative, filled with self-esteem and live life fully
  • they have difficulties but they enjoy life most of the time.This is because they live in the present and don’t look to the future for a time when life will be better
  • they feel that life is a highly interesting journey and they enjoy exploring
  • peak experiences lead self-actualizers to more awareness in their life. There is an openness to new explorations, which allows them access to spiritual experiences.  (p.116)

If you are feeling the inner nudge to “explore the more”  it’s never too late to start.  Meditation, journaling, dream work, visualizations, energy work, counseling, oracle cards, guided imagery, art therapy, music therapy, yoga, a walk on the beach or in the forest are just some of the ways you can begin exploring your inner world.  You are always in the driver’s seat of your magic bus!

 

DID YOU KNOW …..

  • This month received its name from the oracular Juno Augusta The term augur was later applied to priests, and august to the Roman emperors. An august person was filled with the spirit of the Goddess (the Holy Spirit). To augur means to prophesy, to see, to increase
  • Full moon in August is known as the Barley Moon
  • August message:  to gather, to appreciate, to nurture  (Pat’s message: to the beach!)
  • Gemstones are Peridot and Sardony
EMERGING FROM ISOLATION

EMERGING FROM ISOLATION

As the demand for strict social isolation is loosening it is time to begin resurfacing in our communities and beyond.  Time to “leave the nest” and venture out into the world.  And when we emerge, we see a similar but different world from before.  Line ups to do practically everything from shopping to banking to getting the mail. Some people wearing elaborate masks and gloves, while others merely turn or walk away when approached. Humans are social by nature, but this doesn’t seem or feel social in the way it used to be. Reports of social anxiety and panic are increasing, especially as people are coming out of their safe havens.  Yet at the same time, we have more loneliness and depression being reported because of the isolation we’ve endured. We need to connect, but how can we connect when we are fearful, anxious or depressed?

This is not an easy one to answer. The initial threat of this virus and the safety measures we were forced to follow were scary.  Add to that, the fear mongering used by most media sources and we found ourselves in a mess. If you weren’t anxious or scared before, the media made sure you were now!  But over time, and with the steady guidance of credible health ministers having a solid medical / immunological education, we were offered a slow but steady way out of all this. Not what was being offered by those entertainers or media journalists who fancy themselves as experts or influencers, but by the real folks who work and plan for this type of crisis daily. In our province, we were blessed to have Dr. Bonnie Henry at the helm.  With her kind but firm approach, we followed her directions and now we find ourselves coming out the other side of this crisis. She stayed on top of things, offering information and direction so that we could navigate these uncharted waters. And she supported our efforts every step of the way. 

In this high-tech, fast-paced world, Dr. Henry gave us (and continues to give us) directions based on good old common sense. Directions that we could follow. Directions that would help us and our communities stay safe. Proper hand-washing, social distancing to prevent contamination, staying away from others if you felt unwell or had a fever, get fresh air, exercise, take your vitamins – these were things we could all do.But there was more than just a physical approach to fighting this virus. Be kind, be safe, stay connected – how many times have we heard her say this?  And therein lies the answer:  long after the physical threat of this virus is gone, we are left with the psycho-emotional effects it has had on us.

Being in a state of fear and uncertainty for a prolonged time can erode our sense of trust and our feelings of safety (not to mention deplete our immune system). These are foundational qualities needed to go about our daily activities: work, school, worship, shopping, banking, socializing etc.  These are the activities that give sparkle to our lives. These are the activities that give us purpose, community and connection. But they can’t fully happen unless we step out our front door. So how do we begin to venture out and re-connect with our world?

Ask yourself: 

  • What can I control in this situation?  Realizing that you have choices and control can help quell some of the anxiety you are feeling. Focus on what you can control.
  • What do I need in this situation in order to feel safe?  Anticipate scenarios and how you will respond. By having a plan, you can feel more in charge of the situation.
  • How do I handle risk? As we come out of isolation, we face choices about type of risk, amount of risk and the benefits/consequences of risk. The degree to which we can accept risk will be important in helping us “take a chance” at getting back into the dance of living.

It is always your choice as to how, when and why you proceed with rejoining the world around you.  Some folks may choose to remain in isolation a bit longer – they may need more information, confidence or comfort supplies before venturing out.  Others may charge out their front door and take on anything and everything they can.  Most of us will begin in a slow and steady expansion of our world and our activities. Ah yes, the Middle Road!

Amid the fear born out of pandemic, we must find a way to create a meaningful life. We must find our courage and recover our sense of trust and security so we can discover how to dance the dance of life again. It may look and feel different for a while, but the music plays on. Take one step at a time, and soon we’ll be on that dance floor, under the disco ball, dancing like we’ve never danced before.  Sparkle on! 

How Does Your Garden Grow?

How Does Your Garden Grow?

 With Spring in full swing, it is hard to ignore the capacity for resiliency and rebirth that our gardens show us.  Only a few weeks ago, there were twigs and bare patches of dirt looking up at a us. We have been anxious to see what, if anything, survived the winter.  Looking at our gardens, we’ve been hoping, wishing and praying for signs of renewal. Signs of revival. Signs that there is still hope in this world.

Our experience with the virus pandemic has brought the thoughts of life and death to our attention every day. Like the winter garden, we have been quiet. Like the stillness of that garden, we have waited and wondered if life will return. In that stillness, we have had lots of time to reflect upon thoughts, memories and emotions;  some have not always been easy to understand or to confront.  In this time of stillness, we have been left with ourselves. For some, this has been a positive time of self-exploration, self-care and learning.  For others, this quiet time has been a pit of despair filled with fear, loneliness and hopelessness.

Why the difference?  Why does one garden flourish while the other withers?

Look to the cycles of nature for the answer.  There is a time and a season for everything; nature understands this dance.  There needs to be stillness and quiet in order for us to hear the stirrings of our mind, body and soul.  From that place, we can dream.  We can create.  We can “sprout”.  We can grow. In effect, we are both the garden and the gardener of our life.  What we plant is up to us.  How we tend the garden, is up to us. When and how we use the harvest, is also up to us.  Nature uses its cycles wisely as it has faith in the process of life, death and rebirth. Nature trusts the dance, for it has been dancing for many years!

There are many things out of our control; this is certainly something that this covid experience has brought to light. Some people find not being in control unsettling as they have a particular idea and expectation of how the world should be and operate. Routine and predictability give them a sense of security.  Unfortunately for these folks, the universal law is one of Chaos!  No predictability, except that it is unpredictable.  In order to live with chaos, we must learn how to keep our inner core strong and resilient so we don’t forget who we are and what we are about while chaos swirls about us.  Like the eye of the tornado, we learn to stay calm, grounded and focused on what we can do, not what we can’t do. This is something we can control – it comes from within.

So, how does your garden grow?  Do you have faith, trust and enthusiasm to focus your intentions on the excitement of new growth, abundance and gratitude?  Do you have fear and mistrust to focus your energies on constriction, scarcity and blame?  It is always your choice as to the garden you create.  What you plant, feed and focus on will grow.  So the question is: what do you wish to harvest in your life?  Once you know the answer, you know how to proceed with your garden.  Happy Spring!  Happy Gardening!

DID YOU KNOW ...

Decided to end with a bit of humour this time. Funny, corny or groaners – whatever you call them –  may they bring a smile to your face today!  Thanks to Brenda for sharing these puns.

    • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
    • If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
    • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
    • Two silk worms had a race. They ended in a tie.
    • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
    • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    • I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
    • The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
    • Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says, “Dam”.
    • A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.  The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
    • A photon is checking into a hotel. The bellhop approaches and asks, “Sir, do you have any luggage?”  The photon responds, “No, I’m traveling light.”
The Gift of Trauma

The Gift of Trauma

The world is on a major reset due to a virus that nobody saw coming. How could we have prepared for something that came swiftly out of left field? Truth is: we couldn’t have. All around the world, people have had to make adjustments to their work, love and play.  Adjustments that have been required of us for the “collective good”. But for how long and at what other costs must we remain under these restraints?

The official term for what people are experiencing right now is “collective trauma”.  According to mental health experts Louise Bradley and Marika Sandrelli’s article in today’s Province newspaper,

 ” … collective trauma stems from the “fight, flight or freeze” response that asserts itself when a stressful event shatters our sense of security. … We may experience everything from feelings of helplessness, shock, denial or disbelief.  We may find ourselves easily confused, have difficulty focusing and have sleepless nights.  Some of us will be identifying with every possible negative outcome, while others may feel strangely detached.  Even more disconcerting may be the dissonance we experience when we catch ourselves feeling moments of joy.”…

When we experience a trauma, our world and our being are shaken to the core.  Security, belonging, trust and abilities to cope and survive are shattered.  Trauma makes us believe that we are powerless to do something about it.  By making us feel like victims, trauma gains its greatest victory.  But trauma is forgetting one thing:  humans have the capacity to do great things under great adversity.  It is under such challenges and adversities that our greatest personal growth and power can be realized.

The gift of trauma is the suffering it creates. Suffering takes us to the deep, dark places of our psyche and soul and asks us to be brutally honest about ourself, our life and our world. It asks us to define and explain what we really believe and what is important to us.  Then, it asks us, “What are we prepared to say and do in order to stand up for our truth? To stand up for our life?”  In essence, suffering helps us to define our personal truth, feel our personal power and live in alignment with ourselves and highest truth.  But this process is not quick and easy.  However, it is life changing

Another quote from the Bradley and Sandrelli article states,

“… But in today’s society, in our unyielding quest for happiness, we’ve lost sight of the value of being still with our suffering.  We may be more comfortable with the idea of trauma can have no value because a different possibility would require us to dig into the hard work of introspection.  Nothing worth doing is easy – something especially true for those able to reframe their negative experiences as avenues to greater self-awareness, heightened compassion and deeper relationships – yet those are exactly the kinds of insights that researchers have consistently correlated with post-traumatic growth.”

Other researchers have acknowledged that traumatic experiences do cause suffering, but suffering is only a part of a much bigger experience.  It can offer the opportunity to look deeply into one’s own being, relationships and life circumstances and create changes that are happier, healthier and more in alignment with one’s own personal truth and power.  As ever, it is always under your control as to how you wish to respond to trauma and suffering.  Your decision – your move – your way, always.

With the gift of time we’ve been given right now, and the usual distractions in life reduced, what an opportunity to dig deeply, go within, release that which holds you back and then create something more wonderful for yourself. And your world.

 

Did you know …

  • Lilacs and Jasmine belong to the same botanical family
  • Cinnamon is helpful with digestion, blood sugar regulation and dental health
  • Heart chakra colours are green and pink;  green for physical heart and balancing,  pink for emotional heart and love
Russian Gypsies

Russian Gypsies

Hats off to Svetlana Alexandrovna Touchkoff for introducing the Western world to the Gypsy teachings of nineteenth century Russia  by creating her Russian Gypsy Fortune Telling Cards.  The gypsies were a freedom-loving nomadic group known for their ability to offer insights and predictions to any who asked.  Fortune telling was an integral part of people’s lives in Russia; it was an opportunity to concentrate on themselves, talk about their feelings and frustrations and come up with strategies for the future.  Readings were often done with others listening and offering their insights into what was being said. People believed their predictions, yet they were not controlled by them. They understood that at any moment, an individual’s free will or God’s intercession could turn any situation around.  This open understanding has continued to this day.

The cards contain artwork and symbols from many areas, as would be expected from gypsies who traveled around Europe, Russia, the Middle East and parts of Asia. There are many entries for each card explaining the history, mystery and practical aspects of the messages.

Here are some short examples of Russian sayings and proverbs contained in her cards.

The card:  Lady
Symbol for: support and help
Proverb:  Don’t spit in the well.  You might have to drink the water
Meaning: don’t do anything that could hurt or embarrass someone unnecessarily; you may need their help at some time

The card:  Cat
Symbol for:  hidden danger
Proverb: An uninvited guest is worse than a Tartar 
(the Tartars were Mongolian invaders of Russia during the Middle Ages)
Meaning: refrain from boorish acts that irritate others, otherwise expect to be criticized

The card:  Bread
Symbol for:  happiness, prosperity, generosity and nourishment
Proverb:  If everyone gives a thread, the naked one will have a shirt
Meaning: do your share of giving in some way

The card:  Dog
Symbol for:  relationships with friends
Proverb:  Better to have a hundred friends than a hundred rubles
Meaning:  you are not alone in this world when you have friends

The card:  Heart
Symbol for: love and emotions from the heart
Proverb:  First love is like first teeth;  it comes with pain
Meaning:  if this is your first love and the other doesn’t even know you exist, don’t despair. Try again.

The card:  Moon
Symbol for: peace, beauty and mystery
Proverb: What we have we don’t treasure; having lost it, we cry
Meaning:  don’t waste your time wishing for things you do not have;  rather, enjoy the peaceful happiness you have now

The card: Clover
Symbol for:  luck
Proverb: Without pain, there is no learning
Meaning: do not get too despondent over a situation; stay positive and a solution will be found

May the practical, freedom inspired messages from the Gypsy cards make you smile. And reflect for awhile.