Crossroads and Choice

Crossroads and Choice

by | Energetics, Life Reflections

Blame it on doing the year-end inventory count this weekend!  I had to stay alert, so I cranked up the music.  And there he was, Eric Clapton, with his song Crossroads.  Which got me thinking of the crossroads we face in our lives.  Which then got me thinking of how we all must make choices when at the crossroads.  And then, the goddess Hecate came to mind.

Hecate is considered a Thracian moon goddess by some and an ancient pre-Greek goddess by others. As a moon goddess, she is said to bestow abundance, protection and success. She has been associated with midwifery, birth, fertility, magic, the dark of the moon, wealth, education, ceremonies and the Underworld. Some also refer to her as the Queen of the Crossroads.

She was worshipped at places where three roads crossed;  people left offerings at the crossroads for her.  She was said to walk on nights when the moon was dark, attended by a pack of hounds. She carried a torch to illuminate the shadows. Hecate had the ability to move easily between the seen and unseen worlds. Some renderings show her with three heads signifying Past, Present and Future – all aspects to consider when making choices.

Author, film maker, theatre producer and counselor, Amy Sophia Marashinksky, has written many articles and books on feminine awakening. In her book and card deck, The Goddess Oracle, she has this to say about Hecate and choices:

“Hecate meets you at the crossroads when you must make a choice.  Times of choice are not easy times. The challenges presented by choice necessitate a leap of faith from the person doing the choosing.  Hecate says to let go of the idea that there are wrong or right choices:  there is just choice.  Have you been putting off making a choice because it seems to be too overwhelming or a “no win” situation?  Does the choice bring up fear of the unknown? Does it seem better and/or easier to remain with what you know? …
“Sometimes a choice must be made, yet you are not ready.  In such cases, the way to nurture wholeness is to acknowledge where you are and let it go.  Trust that you will be able to make a choice when the time is right.  Give yourself time and space.  Don’t press, berate, or blame yourself. You need nourishment here. When you let go, suddenly clarity comes to show you what you need.  Hecate urges you to embrace the Unknown. Know that whatever you choose will bring you something invaluable that you can use on your path to wholeness.” 

Some people hesitate and procrastinate making choices because they don’t want to make a “bad choice”.  “What if ..” and “Yes, but ..”  are some of their favourite phrases and stalling tactics. Perhaps they lack confidence in their ability to evaluate the choices being asked of them. Perhaps they have given over their personal power to others to make their choices for them.  Or perhaps not making a choice holds others hostage while they wait for an answer and this feels powerful to them.  None of these approaches help foster personal wholeness or healthy, balanced relationships.

Learning to make choices needs to start early in life.  The more practice one has the more capable one becomes. And when life’s crossroads appear, one has faith in one’s ability to choose wisely.  Should you need help, just ask Hecate.

Lightly In The World

Lightly In The World

by | Life Reflections

Quote to Ponder:

This came across my desk from a friend.  It is entitled, “Lightly”.

Aldous Huxley was the renowned 20th-century intellectual who wrote the book, “Brave New World”, a dystopian vision of the future.  Later in his life he came to regret one thing:  how “preposterously serious” he had been when he was younger.

“There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, ” he ruminated, “trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.  That’s why you must walk so lightly.  Lightly, my darling … Learn to do everything lightly.  Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.”   Aldous Huxley

Reading through this quote, I was struck by how Aldous Huxley was able to take a step back from himself and truly examine his thoughts, feelings and behaviour over time.  After such scrutiny, he was able to admit to himself and others that he was way too serious about life!  Any of you who have read, “Brave New World” know that it isn’t a walk in the park.  There is no glimmer of hope or light to be found.  I always thought it odd that our high school insisted upon this book as Required Reading. What did they think we were in for after graduation?  (They also insisted on Dostoyevsky’s book, “Crime and Punishment“, but we’ll save that one for another time!).

To admit to the world that your approach was wrong (or at the very least, not helpful), speaks volumes.  Intense self-examination and exploration PLUS a healthy dose of life experiences often finds us questioning earlier beliefs, behaviours and motivations. It is all information – but what we choose with this information is what really matters. To decide to take another approach means we are prepared to try for a different result – a different way of being.  Nothing will change unless we start with ourselves.

What stops people from taking the plunge into intense self-exploration and examination?  Several factors might play a part.  Fear of what they might find is often at the top of the list.  If you find something that isn’t in your best interest or for the highest good for all, then you have choices:  continue on as you have been and get the same results you’ve always had or admit your part in this and begin to set a new course towards something more healthy and helpful.  This might intensify the fear, because change itself creates anxiety.  And anxiety is fuel for fear!  So this is where the old adage, “Feel the fear – do it anyway” can help get you started.

Another reason why someone doesn’t look at themselves objectively might be that they see it as being critical of themselves.  This can negatively affect one’s self-esteem and self-worth.  The thing is to not be critical or punitive with yourself, but to be observant and lovingly honest with yourself.  This is a gift you give yourself in order to improve your world and increase your joy!  If there is a thought, feeling or action that is impeding your joy, why wouldn’t you want to remove it and replace it with something wonderful for yourself?

One other factor could relate to Ego.  The Ego says, “How dare anyone suggest that I am not perfect?  Or that my thoughts, feelings and actions are not perfect?”  Rigid or inflated Egos make it difficult for a person to enter into honest self-exploration. These Ego types do not want to acknowledge that there could be personal flaws or mistakes. If there is a problem, it will not be with them! Although these types of Ego structure and function might find short-term happiness and relationship harmony, it will not be sustained.  There needs to be more softness so that the flow of life changes can be made successfully.

Go Lightly in this world so that seriousness does not overwhelm you.  Remember these words from “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann:

“Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.  Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.  But do not distress yourself with imaginings.  Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.”

Lightly, gently and with joy.  You deserve nothing less.

Careful What You Wish For

Careful What You Wish For

by | Energetics, Psycho-Spiritual

Birthday cake and candles, four-leaf clover, first star at night, turkey wishbone and Harry Potter’s magic spells are just some of the ways in which we have learned to cast our wishes and hope that magic brings them into reality.  People wish for all sorts of things – for themselves and others. Some wishes are for good things, some for not-so-good things.  And some are for downright nasty things to come to fruition! What is it about  the “wish” that has sustained it all these millenium?

Perhaps the wish is something that helps us connect to our deepest truths and longings. Walt Disney was famous for saying, “A dream is a wish that your heart makes.”  If our heart makes  a wish, then it must be important to us!  A wish directs our attention and thoughts towards something that we want, believe in, and hope for.  In terms of energy theory, we could describe this as a focused intention. As with all intentions, the feelings connected to this intention will add power to the wish. Is this focused intention or wish about peace, love, acceptance or forgiveness – basically for the highest good for all?  Or is  it about revenge, restitution, anger or hurtfulness?  If the intention is for harm to others, then what is this really saying about our deepest truths and longings?  At our core, are we really harbouring negativity and spite?  If so, why?

The image that comes to mind is that of someone who feels broken or beaten.  Life has dealt them a difficult hand to play;  the deck feels like it is stacked against them. From this place of personal misery may come feelings of resentment, hurt and jealousy.  These feelings have a negative energy surrounding them – and if used when casting wishes, they will send those wishes out to the universe with this energy attached.   The idea of energy dynamics and our focused intentions or wishes reminds us that we need to be mindful of the feelings, language and imagery we use. These get projected out into our future energy field, which will then come back to us later to become our present.  Is this the wish, we truly want for ourselves and others?

There is a saying, “Careful what you wish for, because it may come true.”   Some have wished for fame and fortune for themselves, only to discover that these have their own sets of difficulties to overcome.  Some people have wished for accidents, death and destruction towards others, only to find the judgements they’ve used are later used against them.  This is sometimes referred to as, ” It comes back to bite you in the a _ _”.  Or put another way, “What goes around, comes around.”

Humans have been casting wishes forever – just remember that your intentions, thoughts and feelings are all part of the package. Wishes can, and do, come true.  Be sure you wish for the best for all and watch the magic unfold.

Did you know ……
We can find pearls of wisdom in the strangest places.

  • Consider this quote from a recent “superhero” movie:  “Darkness is not the absence of Light.  It is the belief that the Light will never return.”
  • In an interview with comedian and actor Bill Murray:  “Social Media is training us to compare our lives, instead of appreciating everything we are. No wonder everyone is depressed!”
  • Not sure who this is attributed to:  “Life isn’t about how you survive the storm, but how you dance in the rain.”
Reflections and Affirmations

Reflections and Affirmations

by | Energetics, Psycho-Spiritual

As the warmth of summer begins to wane, and the daylight hours get shorter,we are reminded that the Equinox is not far away. A day of equal day and equal night. Being curious, I looked at how several traditions viewed this time of year. Let me share some of these with you.

In the Greek tradition, this Equinox is the sign of Autumn. It is when the Goddess Persephone leaves our world and her mother Demeter, to return to the Underworld and her husband, Hades. Persephone is both the Maiden and the Queen, depending who she is with: her mother or husband. Her lessons relate to personal power, birth, death and rebirth. This is a good time to enact rituals for protection and security. It is also a good time to reflect upon successes and failures from the previous months.

The Buddhist celebration of Higan (or Higan-e) celebrates the spiritual move from the world of suffering to the world of enlightenment. The word “Higan” means “other shore” and refers to spirits of the dead reaching Nirvana after crossing the River of Existence. It is a time of year to remember and honor the dead.

Pagans celebrate Mabon, one of eight Sabbats. It celebrates the second harvest and beginning of winter preparations. It is considered a time to respect the impending dark while giving thanks to the sunlight.

Over time, Christians replaced the Pagan Equinox with more Christianized observances. Michaelmas, which is the Festival of Michael and All Angels, falls on September 29th. This was thought close enough to the Equinox to be the chosen celebration. Another name for this celebration is “Festival of Strong Wills”. It makes you wonder who or what they really meant by this name!

Although not held on the Equinox, but rather on the Full Moon, the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival celebrates the abundance of summer’s harvest. The main food is called Moon Cake, which is filled with lotus, sesame seeds, duck egg or dried fruit. This food originated from the tradition of making offerings to the Sun in the Spring and the Moon in the Autumn.

These are but a few of the ways the end of summer has been celebrated. Create your own tradition to honor the changing of the seasons.

A Meaningful Life

A Meaningful Life

by | Life Reflections, Psycho-Spiritual

People want to have a life of meaning – of purpose – yet how does one accomplish this?  Not from an egoic place, but from a humanistic vantage point. A recent article in the magazine, Mindfulness: Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, offered some suggestions on how to accomplish this. Here are a few of the ideas to try.

#1 – Set an Intention
According to Parneet Pal of Wisdom Labs, “Intention can help you align your conscious thinking  with your primal emotional drive … like reward, connection, purpose, self-identity and core values”.  Before starting out on your day, take a moment to think of what you are going to do, who you will be dealing with and how you might interact for the highest good. During the day, it is good to revisit the intentions to see how you are doing and how they are influencing your way of being in the world.  With daily practice, you will begin to notice subtle, yet significant, changes towards being meaningful and purposeful.

#2 Pick a Pillar
Psychologist and author of The Power of Meaning, Emily Esfahani Smith describes “four pillars” which support a quest for greater meaning in anyone’s life. Even if you strengthen only one of these pillars, you will notice positive changes. The four pillars of a meaningful life are:

Belonging – relationships in which we feel valued for who we are and in which we value others. We can choose to strengthen relationships in this way.

Purpose –  the key to purpose is using our strengths to serve others;  this offers us something worthwhile to do.  When we have a sense of worth, it strengthens our sense of purpose and our life’s meaning .

Transcendence – those moments when we rise above the daily routines and activities of life and feel connected to a higher reality.  These moments have the power to change us and how we operate in this world.

Storytelling – everyone has a life story which helps them understand who they are.  If the story is not helping you realize the purpose and meaningfulness in your life, why not change how you are telling the story?  Perhaps a change towards retelling with more  emphasis on your positive actions, thoughts and relations will help steer you towards having more of the same.  Change the language of the story and you may change the course and focus of your future.

#3 What’s Life Asking of You
Advice from Chip Conley, the author of Emotional Equation: Simple Truths for Creating Happiness and Success and founder and former CEO of Joie de Vivre hotels: “Instead of worrying about the meaning of life, craft a life that has meaning to you right where you are.”  He goes on to say, “Lots of people are so distracted by searching for the light at the end of the tunnel that they cannot see clearly what is right next to them. Creating an abstract idea of meaning can just become another distraction.  What is life asking of you RIGHT NOW?  Can you light a figurative candle in your hand to illuminate this moment so that you and those around you can make a difference today?”   His challenge is for us to be present in our life and use this to “build it” into something meaningful.  The meaning of life is, in his view, “a DIY job”.

These are just a few of the ways in which we can create a more meaningful life.  You don’t need to tackle every suggestion at once.  Just start with one thing and see how it helps you find meaning and purpose every day.  Over time, add more activities and see how the miracle of You unfolds.  Enjoy the adventure!