New Year and a new view of ourselves and life direction.  The 2020 covid scare had many of us coming face to face with our deepest thoughts, regrets and emotions. No longer able to coast along on “auto-pilot” and with our usual distractions reduced for extended time periods, 2020 forced many of us to acknowledge our deepest, darkest secrets.  Coming to terms with what truly matters to us was not always an easy task.  But look at what that task has given us in return.

For some, it was a return to home base and becoming reacquainted with our families, home and pets. Creative ways of connecting and passing the time were actually fun for many people. Some of us even learned how to Zoom on our computers so we could “see” our family and friends. Home cooking and crafting;  playing cards and board games; reading and journaling; gardening and long walks in nature.  And naps. Lots of naps!  At 7pm, we’d bang the pots and pans to show our support and gratitude for the front-line workers who were helping us stay well.

For some, this time of isolation from the world was more difficult.  If you lived alone, you had no one else around to share your day with. These early days of self-isolation could become very dreary and depressing. If you were stuck in isolation with people who did not fill your heart with joy, your days also became very long and lonely.  It became apparent to some that they had been living a lie.  It was the distractions of daily life that kept us from facing this reality and making changes that could free us from this lie. To live in truth instead. Distractions such as going out to work, shopping, dining out, going to the gym, joining book clubs and other associations, meeting up for coffee or lunch or drinks with neighbours and friends, having company over for parties, dinners or simply a visit, helped build a buffer between our living situation and our deepest inner feelings and inner knowing. But without that buffer, we were faced with the reality of our home situation. Every day – for days, weeks, months on end – the reality of our situation confronted us.

The early days of isolation saw a huge increase in domestic violence episodes, calls to mental health hot-lines, drug and alcohol consumption and overdose, emergency room visits for panic attacks, severe depression and suicidal ideation. Over time, we have seen family breakups become reality for many. Legal action has increased for home and business foreclosures, divorces, child custody and restraining orders. Keeping us safe from the physical threat of the virus has created enormous collateral damage on many other aspects of our lives and livelihoods. Some people will never recover from these effects.  Some have already succumbed.

And yet, many have found their way through the deepest, darkest moments. Their ability to face their fears, face their challenges and face themselves has always been present. What “special powers” do they have? How did they find their way through all this darkness?  How did they manage to stay positive and on-course?

If you have faith and trust in the process, you believe you will succeed and survive. This belief helps to counter any negative, fear-based thinking that often puts people in a downward spiral.  Surrendering to the moment, knowing that, “ what is right now, is not forever“, helps increase a sense of optimism for a brighter future.  Those who have lived through difficult times in the past understand that nothing is forever, “this too shall pass”.  We can course-correct at any moment, which will help us experience a different outcome. There is a good reason that the sign, “Keep calm and carry on”, made such a comeback in 2020.  It was this type of thinking that helped nations survive and succeed during earlier times of war and strife. It helped then;  why not now?

People with high levels of optimism do not see themselves as victims of circumstances. These are the folks that live by the phrase, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”  Life experience has taught them that it is their attitude that will help get them through the tough times. Turn a negative into a positive and your attitude will stay positive, too.  Not always easy, but if we can find even one thread of goodness or positiveness in our situation, hold on tight to it!  Keep seeing positive progress and it will eventually manifest. Slow and steady still wins the race!

The adage, “Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want” springs to light here.  Attention and Focus.  Where we set our attention, is where we will go.  Attention is always under our control – so use it wisely.  Use it to improve your sense of security, self-esteem and confidence, loving relationships and communication.  Is your attention being pulled away in the direction of too much drama and trauma, so that your sense of security is being challenged?  Does too much social media, television and news make you feel fearful, anxious and depressed?  Then say NO to it!  It is your choice as to how much time and effort you give to things/people who zap your well-being. Protect yourself from harm. Focus your attention on those people, activities and things that give you much joy, filling your heart and soul with lightness and love.

As 2021 begins, take time to reflect upon what has worked and not worked to help you feel safe, happy, healthy and joyful this past year. Have the courage to look deep into your self, to ensure that you have been truthful with respect to what you really believe, what you really feel and what you really want in your life. If your life is brimming with the positives, then keep it going!  If changes need to be made, allow yourself the time and space to decide how you wish to proceed – then do it.  The final decision is yours.  Just remember: an investment in yourself is the most precious one you can make.

DID YOU KNOW …..

• Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.  The Dalai Lama
• Mastering others is strength.  Mastering yourself is true power.  Lao Tzu
• You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world.  Oprah Winfrey
• No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.  Albert Einstein
• Who looks outside, dreams;  who looks inside, awakens.  Carl Jung